Restart... feeling convicted!!!

I totally fell off the "bandwagon" after my go around in August.  I think I went wrong with weighing every day and making my journey too complicated.  I know... after many years of dieting and reading those famous diet books, that I am not supposed to weigh every day but it's sooooo tempting!  This time I told my sister to hide the scale!  I weighed myself yesterday on my reset day at 253.6 and then told sis, "HIDE THAT THING"!  I think having a certain lowcarb diet in my past made me obsessed with the scale... I would lose 1-2 lbs a day and loved seeing the immediate gratification on the scale every morning!  NOT HEALTHY AT ALL!  I love my Trim Healthy Mama diet and all there is to learn.

I titled this post with that heavy word, "convicted"... have you ever really felt truly convicted of something?  Lately I have been feeling REALLY convicted of how I present myself to people but most of all to my hubby!  Not just in my weight but in what I wear and how I take care of myself... don't get me wrong, I'm not a complete slob!  My thought process started changing on November 17th, the day my oldest turned 19.  I walked into a cheap salon and decided to chop 2 feet off of my hair!

I went from this (me picture all the way to right, mom in the middle, and sis on the left Oct-2014):

To this (me pictured all the way to left, mom in the middle, and sis on right - Thanksgiving 2014):

I had never had short hair in my whole life and I love, love, love it!  It was like a giant weight being lifted off of me!  This veil that I used to try to cover my insecurities and issues, I cut it off - just like that!  The hairdresser was a little shocked to say the least!  In my heart I felt it was time to let go of my past... my hurts, hang-ups, and habits.  This was very symbolic to me. Very freeing. I began to breathe that day.  On that day I knew I needed to get back to the THM lifestyle and get rid of sugar and bad carbs but that little nagging voice kept saying, "it's almost the holidays, are you sure you wanna do that?"  Over and over I would hear this, and it was super loud.  Finally, I decided to take the plunge on December 1st and here I am writing again on day 2.  I do still feel foggy since I have bad sugar withdrawals BUT I can't let that stop me.  I feel this is my calling... to lose this and be a witness of how powerful God is in my life and to help other women that may struggle over this beast!  I really look at it as a testimony.  I have to pray every day through this that I keep God in my center and not obsess.... truly a journey.